I think I've mentioned in my posts about Keepers of the Faith that I just LOVE the marriage book that they wrote. They used to have a magazine and the book is comprised of articles that they ran in the magazine and then compiled into a book. I've read MANY (and I TRULY mean MANY) books on marriage and in my opinion theirs is the absolute best. I like it because the writer, Susan Zakula, is blunt but kind. She lays it on the line very plainly but she also says several times that she has not 'arrived' in this area and is still learning herself....even after 30 years of marriage. And that's the other thing. I like that she's been married for 30 years! If she's been married that long, she must know a thing or two about it. I've been married to Mr. Wonderful for 14 years which seems like a small amount of time compared to 30 years, but in this day and age it's quite a long time. The book is also full of Scripture and Biblical principles which is so important....it's not 'their philosophy' they're trying to impart but Biblical truth.
I feel like I can relate to Mrs. Zakula because she was not raised in a Christian home and neither was I. It seems like she truly understands the struggles that I go through because of my lack of proper Biblical training on how to be a Godly wife.....training that would have been so helpful for me as a married woman.
I obtained permission from them to quote from their book. To be honest, I hope reading my review will make you want to immediatly go out and purchase a copy for yourself. In my opinion it's the best investment of $8.95 that you'll ever make.
The book is 195 pages and it has 14 chapters so I think it will take several posts to cover what I'd like to cover. I've highlighted and written in my book so I'm going to share with you some direct quotes from the book that really spoke to my heart. I have read the book at least twice and I'm reviewing it again for this post and it never fails to speak to my heart. I just love it.......can you tell? (o;
Chapter 1-"Is Your Life Out of Kilter Too?"
She (Susan Zakula) opens with a letter she received from a woman (and the letter represents many of the letters that she often receives). This woman talks about how she is burned out and is under a doctor's orders of 'enforced rest' because she has allowed herself to get way over-extended in her commitments outside of her home (even though she's a stay-at-home mom). She home-schools her children, administrates a home-school organization for her home business and also does some other 'home business' type of things to help suppliment her husband's income. To quote the letter, she says 'It all seemed right and necessary--but somewhere things went wrong. I found myself in a leadership role where I was more and more talking about things I no longer had time to do; getting impatient and angry with my husband and children for their failure and/or inability to 'help me' with my overload of work." She then goes on to express that she even had thoughts that God had abandoned her. She ends by saying how she's had to turn over her home business to someone else and she is trying to recoup mentally and physically and is using the time to try and figure out how she got off the path of being 'at home' --with serving her husband and children and having her home as her primary duty. There is much more but the last sentence says...."So many seem untroubled by the fast pace, the lack of time to thoughtfully discipline and carefully train their children and the lack of time to be quietly at home."
Mrs. Zakula then talks about how letters like this "make her heart heavy for those dear women whose hearts are breaking and for all of the young wives and mothers heading in the same direction." She then talks about 'Deceptions'. How we Christian ladies can be deceived by the devil with not just evil things but things that are good--"good ideas, good opportunities, good service, and good activities." Then she quotes her husband "The most dangerous lie is the lie that is closest to the truth." And that is so true! "Because it's the most difficult lie to discern. A successful lie must have a considerable amount of truth in it or people won't believe it." She then goes on to talk about the answers and how that God is not responsible for the messes we make in our life but He does have the answers to help us untangle our mess.
Then Mrs. Zakula talks about how she is NOT the 'perfect woman, the perfect wife or the perfect mother.' She says she was a feminist when the Lord saved her. She says "His salvation was a mountaintop experience; becoming a godly, submissive wife has been a lifelong process." She talks about how she's still learning and that she has not arrived. She then says "A good marriage lies in loving God more than we love ourselves." One of my favourite quotes from this chapter is this:
**"We don't work at developing a good marriage. We work at submitting ourselves to our heavenly Father, being filled with the fruits of His Spirit, and the result is a happy relationship with our husbands. Sin is the separating factor. There is no pat recipe for marital bliss."
Chapter 2-"Beginnings"
Mrs. Zakula says "We women tend to focus on the external aspects of married life." She then talks about the many questions she gets such as "Where does a woman draw the line in obedience?" She talks about how the answers to these questions will not usually repair the marriage and how some women seem to want a list of do's and don'ts. She says "A rule book will not work for a marriage." She talks about how many women feel like God was unfair in determining the male and female roles and how some women feel that God has placed them in an 'inferior position'. She then asks us to pray that our hearts and minds will be truly open to God's truth and she quotes Psalm 25:4-5.
Mrs. Zakula goes back to Genesis 2:18-25. She says "There is not one negative thought expressed in God's intention for your being." She says many other good things and then asks "Can you trust God?" Then she talks about how many of us don't realize how much wives mean to their husbands. And how husbands have hopes and dreams when they come to marriage too (not just women--men dream too). Many women talk about 'what a disappointment' their marriage has turned out to be or how 'they didn't think it would be this way'. She points out that it's the same for the husband too. She says "For instance, your husband didn't realize that you'd be too tired most of the time, crabby, busy with the house, visiting with your friends. He didn't know the children would take up all your time. He didn't know how great the living expenses would become." What she's trying to bring out is that husbands have hopes and dreams that didn't come true too...it's not just women who experience these feelings of disallusionment.
Here are some of my favourite quotes from this chapter:
**"Seldom does a woman phone or write about what a terrible wife she is, only about her husband. She cries for herself, never for him. Each is wrapped up in their own misery, never seeing the misery of their spouse."
**"Have you ever thought of asking your husband what his dreams were, or does he even have any left? How is he disappointed in you? How have you let him down?"
**"A man is looking for more than a housekeeper. He can hire that. He is looking for more than a cook. He can hire that. He is looking for a woman to love him, to become one flesh with him. He is looking for a woman to be a friend and a lover. Have you ever stopped to think just how much you might be letting him down?"
She then asks us to examine our own hearts....to focus on ourselves not on our husband's faults. She also points out that love is more than just an emotion......it is an act and it is commanded by God.
I've quoted extensively from the first 2 chapters. I will be a little more brief in the next 12. There is just too much good information for me to be able to convey it all in a post. I encourage you to buy the book and study it for yourself. And as with anything examine it with Acts 17:11 in mind, as you should ANYTHING you read. I think you'll find that their teachings align with the Bible.
To purchase the book "Are You Serious About Marriage?" go here. It is only $8.95 and it's full of so much truth.
The book "Are You Serious About marriage?" is copyrighted. If you wish to quote from their book you must obtain permission from them. Copyright © 2006 Keepers of the Faith, Co. All rights reserved.
Friday, January 21, 2011
"It Is Finished!"
Image is from http://www.allposters.com/
This article was given to me several years ago. It is hard to read but I think it is necessary for us to truly understand a little bit what Jesus endured. Not only for the saved but for the lost as well. Jesus died for all--knowing that few would accept His gift.
~~Mrs. B
The Crucifixion of Christ: As Seen Through the Eyes of a Medical Doctor
(Based on an article taken from the JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, by Dr. William D. Edwards)
It is easy for us to thank God for the gift of Jesus Christ. In fact, we say it many times without even thinking about it. This Easter, take some time to reflect on the gravity of the pain and suffering Jesus Christ endured for you. As you read the explanation of the crucifixion below, you will begin to truly understand the great love Jesus has for you. He was willing to die the most horrible of deaths so that you might live forever with Him.
Preparation For The Cross
"Then Pilate therefore took Jesus, and scourged Him." John 19:1
Flogging was a legal preliminary to every Roman execution, and only women and Roman senators or soldiers (except in the case of desertion) were exempt. The usual instrument was a short whip with several single or braided leather thongs of variable lengths, in which small iron balls or sharp pieces of sheep bones were tied at intervals. Occasionally, staves were also used.
For scourging, the man was stripped of his clothing and his hands were tied to an upright post. The back, buttocks, and legs were flogged either by two soldiers or by one who alternated positions. The scourging was intended to weaken the victim to a state of just short of collapse or of death.
After the scourging, the soldiers often taunted their victim. As the Roman soldiers repeatedly struck the victim's back with full force, the iron balls would cause deep contusions, and the leather thongs and sheep bones would cut into the skin and subcutaneous tissues. As the flogging continued, the lacerations would tear into the underlying skeletal muscles and produce quivering ribbons of bleeding flesh. Pain and blood loss generally set the stage for circulatory shock. The extent of the blood may well have determined how long the victim would survive on the cross.
Then, Jesus was severely whipped. (Although the severity of the scourging is not discussed in the four gospel accounts, it is implied in one of the epistles, 1 Peter 2:24.) It is not known whether the number of lashes was limited to 39, in accordance with Jewish law. When it was determined by the centurion in charge that the prisoner was near death, the beating was finally stopped. The half-fainting Jesus was then untied and allowed to slump to the stone pavement, wet with His own blood.
The Humiliation of Our Lord
The Roman soldiers saw a great joke in this provincial Jew claiming to be a King. They threw a robe across His shoulders and placed a stick in His hand. They still needed a crown to make their travesty complete. A small bundle of flexible branches covered with long thorns was plaited into the shape of a crown and was pressed into His scalp. Again, there was copious bleeding, the scalp being one of the most vascular areas of the body.
After mocking Him and striking Him across the face, the soldiers took the stick from His hand and struck Him across the head, driving the thorns deeper into His scalp. Finally, they tired of their sadistic sport and the robe was torn from His back. This had already become adherent to the clots of blood and serum in the wounds, and its removal, just as in the careless removal of a surgical bandage, caused excruciating pain, almost as though He were again being whipped-and the wounds again began to bleed. In deference to Jewish custom, the Romans returned His garments.
The Road To Calvary
The heavy horizontal beam of the cross was tied across His shoulders, and the procession of the condemned Christ, two thieves, and the execution party walked along the Via Dolorosa.
In spite of His efforts to walk erect, the weight of the heavy wooden beam, together with the shock produced by the copious blood loss, was too much. He stumbled and fell. The rough wood of the beam gouged into the lacerated skin and muscles of his shoulders. He tried to rise, but His muscles had been pushed beyond their endurance.
The centurion, anxious to get on with the crucifixion, selected Simon of Cyrene to carry the cross. Jesus followed, still bleeding and sweating the cold, clammy sweat of shock. The 650 yard journey from the fortress Antonia to Golgotha was finally completed. Jesus was once again stripped of his clothes-except for a loincloth, which was allowed.
The Crucifixion Begins
Jesus was offered wine mixed with myrrh, a mild analgesic mixture. He refused to drink. Simon was ordered to place the cross beam on the ground, and Jesus was quickly thrown backward with His shoulders against the wood. The legionnaire felt for the depression at the front of the wrist. He drove a heavy, square, wrought-iron nail through His wrist and deep into the wood.
~~Mrs. B
The Crucifixion of Christ: As Seen Through the Eyes of a Medical Doctor
(Based on an article taken from the JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, by Dr. William D. Edwards)
It is easy for us to thank God for the gift of Jesus Christ. In fact, we say it many times without even thinking about it. This Easter, take some time to reflect on the gravity of the pain and suffering Jesus Christ endured for you. As you read the explanation of the crucifixion below, you will begin to truly understand the great love Jesus has for you. He was willing to die the most horrible of deaths so that you might live forever with Him.
Preparation For The Cross
"Then Pilate therefore took Jesus, and scourged Him." John 19:1
Flogging was a legal preliminary to every Roman execution, and only women and Roman senators or soldiers (except in the case of desertion) were exempt. The usual instrument was a short whip with several single or braided leather thongs of variable lengths, in which small iron balls or sharp pieces of sheep bones were tied at intervals. Occasionally, staves were also used.
For scourging, the man was stripped of his clothing and his hands were tied to an upright post. The back, buttocks, and legs were flogged either by two soldiers or by one who alternated positions. The scourging was intended to weaken the victim to a state of just short of collapse or of death.
After the scourging, the soldiers often taunted their victim. As the Roman soldiers repeatedly struck the victim's back with full force, the iron balls would cause deep contusions, and the leather thongs and sheep bones would cut into the skin and subcutaneous tissues. As the flogging continued, the lacerations would tear into the underlying skeletal muscles and produce quivering ribbons of bleeding flesh. Pain and blood loss generally set the stage for circulatory shock. The extent of the blood may well have determined how long the victim would survive on the cross.
Then, Jesus was severely whipped. (Although the severity of the scourging is not discussed in the four gospel accounts, it is implied in one of the epistles, 1 Peter 2:24.) It is not known whether the number of lashes was limited to 39, in accordance with Jewish law. When it was determined by the centurion in charge that the prisoner was near death, the beating was finally stopped. The half-fainting Jesus was then untied and allowed to slump to the stone pavement, wet with His own blood.
The Humiliation of Our Lord
The Roman soldiers saw a great joke in this provincial Jew claiming to be a King. They threw a robe across His shoulders and placed a stick in His hand. They still needed a crown to make their travesty complete. A small bundle of flexible branches covered with long thorns was plaited into the shape of a crown and was pressed into His scalp. Again, there was copious bleeding, the scalp being one of the most vascular areas of the body.
After mocking Him and striking Him across the face, the soldiers took the stick from His hand and struck Him across the head, driving the thorns deeper into His scalp. Finally, they tired of their sadistic sport and the robe was torn from His back. This had already become adherent to the clots of blood and serum in the wounds, and its removal, just as in the careless removal of a surgical bandage, caused excruciating pain, almost as though He were again being whipped-and the wounds again began to bleed. In deference to Jewish custom, the Romans returned His garments.
The Road To Calvary
The heavy horizontal beam of the cross was tied across His shoulders, and the procession of the condemned Christ, two thieves, and the execution party walked along the Via Dolorosa.
In spite of His efforts to walk erect, the weight of the heavy wooden beam, together with the shock produced by the copious blood loss, was too much. He stumbled and fell. The rough wood of the beam gouged into the lacerated skin and muscles of his shoulders. He tried to rise, but His muscles had been pushed beyond their endurance.
The centurion, anxious to get on with the crucifixion, selected Simon of Cyrene to carry the cross. Jesus followed, still bleeding and sweating the cold, clammy sweat of shock. The 650 yard journey from the fortress Antonia to Golgotha was finally completed. Jesus was once again stripped of his clothes-except for a loincloth, which was allowed.
The Crucifixion Begins
Jesus was offered wine mixed with myrrh, a mild analgesic mixture. He refused to drink. Simon was ordered to place the cross beam on the ground, and Jesus was quickly thrown backward with His shoulders against the wood. The legionnaire felt for the depression at the front of the wrist. He drove a heavy, square, wrought-iron nail through His wrist and deep into the wood.
Quickly, he moved to the other side and repeated the action, being careful not to pull the arms too tightly, but allow some flexibility and movement. The beam was then lifted in place at the top of the vertical beam with the title reading "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews," and nailed in place.
"And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left." Luke 23:33
The Death of Jesus
Jesus Christ was now crucified. As He slowly sagged down and more weight was on the nails in the wrist, excruciating, fiery pain shot along His fingers and arms to explode in His brain. The nails in His wrists were putting pressure on the median nerves. As He pushed Himself upward to avoid this stretching torment, He placed His full weight on the nail through His feet. Again, there was the searing agony of the nail tearing through the nerves between the metatarsal bones of His feet. At this point, another phenomenon occurred. As His arms fatigued, great waves of cramps swept over the muscles, knotting them in deep, relentless throbbing pain. With these cramps came the inability to push Himself upward. Hanging by His arms, the pectoral muscles were paralyzed and intercostal muscles were unable to act. Air could be drawn into the lungs, but He could not exhale.
Jesus fought to raise Himself in order to get even one short breath. Finally, carbon dioxide built up in the lungs and in the blood stream, and the cramps partially subsided. Spasmodically, He was able to push Himself upward to exhale and bring in the life-giving oxygen. It was undoubtedly during these periods that He uttered the seven short sentences which were recorded in the Bible.
He suffered hours of this limitless pain, cycles of twisting, joint-rending cramps, intermittent partial asphyxiation, searing pain as tissue was torn from His lacerated back as He moved up and down against the rough timber. Then another agony began. A deep crushing pain in His chest as His pericardium slowly filled with serum and began to compress His heart.
It was now almost over. The loss of tissue fluids had reached a critical level…..the compressed heart was struggling to pump heavy, thick, sluggish blood into the tissues….tortured lungs were making a frantic effort to gasp in small gulps of air. The markedly dehydrated tissues sent their flood to stimuli His brain.
His mission of atonement had been completed. Finally He could allow His body to die. With one last surge of strength, He once again pressed His torn feet against the nail, straightened His legs, took a deeper breath and uttered His seventh and last cry, “Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit:” (Luke 23:46)
"And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left." Luke 23:33
The Death of Jesus
Jesus Christ was now crucified. As He slowly sagged down and more weight was on the nails in the wrist, excruciating, fiery pain shot along His fingers and arms to explode in His brain. The nails in His wrists were putting pressure on the median nerves. As He pushed Himself upward to avoid this stretching torment, He placed His full weight on the nail through His feet. Again, there was the searing agony of the nail tearing through the nerves between the metatarsal bones of His feet. At this point, another phenomenon occurred. As His arms fatigued, great waves of cramps swept over the muscles, knotting them in deep, relentless throbbing pain. With these cramps came the inability to push Himself upward. Hanging by His arms, the pectoral muscles were paralyzed and intercostal muscles were unable to act. Air could be drawn into the lungs, but He could not exhale.
Jesus fought to raise Himself in order to get even one short breath. Finally, carbon dioxide built up in the lungs and in the blood stream, and the cramps partially subsided. Spasmodically, He was able to push Himself upward to exhale and bring in the life-giving oxygen. It was undoubtedly during these periods that He uttered the seven short sentences which were recorded in the Bible.
He suffered hours of this limitless pain, cycles of twisting, joint-rending cramps, intermittent partial asphyxiation, searing pain as tissue was torn from His lacerated back as He moved up and down against the rough timber. Then another agony began. A deep crushing pain in His chest as His pericardium slowly filled with serum and began to compress His heart.
It was now almost over. The loss of tissue fluids had reached a critical level…..the compressed heart was struggling to pump heavy, thick, sluggish blood into the tissues….tortured lungs were making a frantic effort to gasp in small gulps of air. The markedly dehydrated tissues sent their flood to stimuli His brain.
His mission of atonement had been completed. Finally He could allow His body to die. With one last surge of strength, He once again pressed His torn feet against the nail, straightened His legs, took a deeper breath and uttered His seventh and last cry, “Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit:” (Luke 23:46)
Friday, April 21, 2006
A Single Keeper at Home--A Guest Post by Janet
I just recently found a blog called 'Janet's Journal'. I've really enjoyed reading her writings from the perspective of a stay-at-home, single mother of 3. I asked her permission to post her post on my blog because I think it's something that we all need to think about. I think the church has done a terrible job ministering to single parents. I know this post spoke to my heart and I hope it speaks to yours as well.
Blessings,
~Mrs. B
ps.- Janet designs websights so if you have that type of need, contact her. I'm sure she'd appreciate the business! (o:
The Single Keeper at Home and How You Can Helpby Janet W.
I am a keeper at home; however, I am a single woman. I want to give some perspective and hope to single women whose hearts’ desire is to be at home with their children. I believe it is a command for women to be keepers at home, regardless of their circumstances. Titus 2:3-5 reads "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." (emphasis mine) Did you see that? For a mother not to be a keeper at home is blaspheming the Word of God! The Bible doesn’t say that becoming single changes that. Some may say that these verses apply only to that day and time in which this was written. I don’t think we can pick and choose what verses we obey or when we obey His Word. His Word is Truth and never changes. God meant what He said and said what He meant. He created the family and knows what is best! We can trust Him for that!
I have been single for over 5 years now because of an unwanted divorce. I have three beautiful daughters, who I’ve always homeschooled. They are 13, 10 and 8. I never dreamed I could remain at home with my girls and keep homeschooling them. God has been so good to honor the desires of my heart, and my desire to do things HIS way!
When I first became single again, I panicked, did what I was told from church-members, and took a part-time job at a grocery store. After all, all single women have to go to work, right? The hours were in the evenings so that I could homeschool in the mornings. Every week, I worked three straight days, from 2PM until midnight. It was hard, fast-paced work. After a while, my family was falling apart. The devil was working, and I began to see very quickly that I had no business being out of my home! My mother kept my girls, and she did the best she could, but she was not training them at all (It was not her job, was it?!); they were only being watched and fed. The girls were getting out of control, and I was too exhausted to homeschool properly. It took me days to recuperate from those three working days, and then it was time to go back to work. After working for five months, I started begging God to send me work to do from home. Within one week, I had four children, besides my own, to care for daily!
Some may think that having seven kids to care for every day would be daunting, but I was so thrilled to have them! God had answered my prayers, and I could be there for my daughters again! God helped me schedule all the children and things went very well. This was a summer job though, and all but one child returned to school in the fall. That was ok, because the Lord had allowed my website designing business to start making a little money here and there. I also received some child support, but not a lot.
Eventually, for various reasons, I quit keeping children in my home, and was able to be with my girls exclusively. God sent me customers that needed website work done every now and then. In time, child support increased even more, but still things were very tight. More than anything though, God cared for us through His people. We had no car for a year, but we prayed and waited patiently and confidently. I was not going to disobey God and leave my home to go to work just to buy a vehicle. My girls deserved my best, which was my time, not possessions!
One day, a wonderful lady from our church called to see if I wanted their used minivan. I told her I could not afford it. She said "No, we want to give it to you." That was God!! My daughters and I just cried. My girls saw God their Father taking care of us. When I prayed, I honestly expected a beat-up old car, for which I would have been extremely grateful. But God exceeded it with a nice minivan, of all things, that ran perfectly! I never ever thought I’d have a minivan. Another family gave us a perfectly good piano! Another prayer answered! Last year, we were given a good used washer and dryer set, after we’d done without a dryer for some time. Many of God’s children have sent love gifts of money, many just in time. One friend took care of bills when my house was about to be repossessed for past due taxes. This friend also takes care of the girls’ school books and other school expenses whenever the need arises. God’s hands are truly the hands of His people!
I want to make it clear that we in no way sit back and expect folks to help us. But it is how God works to meet needs in our situation and others. Money will not fall from the sky, although it could, if God so chose. God lays things on the hearts of others, and they reach out to help. I will not refuse blessings and answers to prayers that God sends! When you refuse help, you are robbing that person of a blessing. You also are refusing God’s answer to prayer! How can we refuse God’s provisions?? How prideful that is!
I know that I’m very blessed to have child support. Some women may not have this. Whether you do or not, but still need additional income, I urge you to seek to find some sort of "cottage business" like the Proverbs 31 woman had. She found something she could do at home to make money for her family. I believe with all my heart that God will answer your prayer and abundantly bless you! God longs to see women being joyful keepers at home! I know of one single, homeschooling mother who, along with her five daughters, cleans houses and businesses. I know other single mothers who run home daycares, write articles, make beautiful handmade items to sell, etc. There are so many possibilities! Ask God, in faith, what to do, KNOWING that He WILL show you! It may take some time for you to be at home full-time, but God will do some "great and mighty things, which thou knowest not!" (Jeremiah 33:3) I never, ever thought that I would really make it as a website designer, but oh, how God loves to prove us wrong and surprise us, even with our doubting, worrying hearts!
I further urge you single sisters, and even married sisters in dire straights, to accept help from different sources. It should come from the church first, but could also come from charity organizations or the government. I know many Christians feel one should not accept charity, but God has made it available to us, and it would be wise, for our children’s sakes, to take it, be thankful, and use these resources to continue rearing our children for the Lord. Many feel that "if you don’t work, neither shall ye eat." Well, I work VERY hard at home-- obeying God. The work God gave me to do is to be a keeper at home. This is a full-time Christian ministry! I take care of my children, I homeschool them, I keep my home, I am available to others, and work in my cottage business. Even with severely cut living expenses, sometimes there is just not enough money, and if you can get some help-- that will further enable you to do God’s will-- then please do so. Don’t let pride keep you from accepting help and, therefore, not obeying God by keeping your home. Many Christians will accept government checks for foster children and/or adoptive children, but condemn other forms of assistance. There really is no difference. In light of the fact that many churches and families no longer support the widows or help the poor as they should, it is a necessary evil. I’m just so thankful for any and all help that I receive. I don’t become wound up in my pride; my focus is my CHILDREN’S needs, and being at home with them. I cannot adequately express how important and vital it is to the welfare of the Christian family.
I want to give ideas to those who want to know how to help single mothers who are striving to raise their children for the Lord. (This would probably also be a blessing to single fathers, mothers with husbands in the military, or to two-parent families who are in dire straits.)
**Pray for them. Pray for their strength-- spiritual, physical and emotional. One of the biggest problems I have is being exhausted in all ways because I do it all alone-- all the time.
**Encourage them often. Tell them they are doing a good job. There is no one at home to tell them, and often they doubt they are doing any good at all. It is tough to keep going down such a long, hard road alone.
**Ask them about their lives. I have found that many people will not ask me about my life, other than a quick "How are you?", probably because they are afraid of pouring salt in my wound, or they just don't know how to relate to me. I have been in many situations where the ladies would go on and on about their lives, but never wanted to really know what was going on in mine. (And yes, I spent quite a lot of time showing interest in them first.) Single mothers would like to be included in conversations also.
**Offer to take their children to appointments, lessons, or other activities. One parent cannot do it all, and ofttimes, for the mental well-being of the single parent, activities are severely limited; OR the mother is run so ragged that she loses her physical, mental, and emotional health. Imagine what it is like to have NO ONE to go pick up a gallon of milk for you, or to run by the pharmacy for medicine for a sick child (or a sick mama!). Those small errands add up and exhaust a single mother. Imagine what it is like not to have someone come home to you at the end of the day, to relieve you of the children for just a little while, for someone to field a multitude of childish questions, for someone to be your cheerleader, or for someone simply to give you a much-needed hug and to take care of you. No, there is no one. A single mother has to handle the children, and all of life’s problems and situations alone all the time. One of the things I want to hear so often is "You heard your mother. Now go and do what she said."
**Offer to help them financially in some way. This could be paying for music or other lessons that are just impossible for the single mother to afford. This could be something small as paying for a magazine subscription for the children or for the mother. These things are luxuries. It could be buying a pair of shoes for a fast-growing child. It could be by funding homeschool books for a homeschooling family. It could be to pay one bill for them at one time, or committing to continually pay a certain bill until things are a lot better for them.
If every local church member would give even $5 a week or month, what a difference it would make in the life of a single mother! It is a terrible shame for a mother to have to return to work after becoming single again, no matter the reason why. The children have already suffered the loss of their father, sometimes their home, and often a depletion of finances. They should not have to lose their mother also! How much more they need their mother in the home full-time to give them stability and love!
Folks, we must realize how necessary it is for a mother to be at home with her children, no matter what the age of the children (teenagers need just as much or more supervision than toddlers do) or the circumstances! We must get back to Bible living!
It is also a terrible shame for fellow Christians to "live on flowery beds of ease", while some do without the necessities of life. Did Jesus live like this? Jesus had no place to lay His head, but I’m seeing people that hoard their possessions, accumulating more and more, forgetting that we are just passing through, and that we are here to glorify God and minister to others. I am so appalled by the lack of compassion that I’m seeing by "Christians". Acts 4:34-35 shares how the early church treated each other: "Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need." (emphasis mine) Where is the compassion for others, especially "those of the household of faith"? (Galatians 6:10)
It’s not wrong for families to have possessions-- things that they have worked so hard for. But where is the concern for the souls of little children who need their mothers? Are not mothers the best teachers for these little children of God? If many would help just a little, what great things could be accomplished! Will you be like the Good Samaritan and help, binding their wounds and giving them care and shelter, or are you going to be like the other "religious" folks, looking the other way and passing on? (Luke 10:25-37) Jesus said to and "Go, and do thou likewise" just as the Good Samaritan did.
**Call a single mother sometime and ask if they have a specific need that you can meet. It’s so hard to ask for help, and they really ought not to have to ask often. Call and see if they need some repair work done to their house or vehicle. If the mother has no health insurance, help her get to the doctor when needed. In doing some of these things, you can relieve so much stress from a single mother’s mind so that she can concentrate on her noble and heavenly task of fitting little ones for Heaven. It is VERY difficult to do any good at all when you live with constant worry and stress. Even small things people normally take for granted every day can become enormous problems for a single mother-- like a child needing new shoes or having enough gas in the vehicle.
**Do not brag on your good fortunes. Just as we would not go on and on over a new baby in the presence of someone who can not conceive or who had recently lost a child, it is thoughtless to share all about your fortunes and luxuries that a single person cannot possibly even dream of, who is terrified deep in her heart of what tomorrow will bring for her financially, who struggles with the basic needs of life. You have no idea who may be about to lose her home or have her electricity turned off. Please also be careful about mentioning romantic gestures that you have received from your husband, when a single mother has no husband to love her. It is not that you have to be on eggshells around them; it is just that you can cause pain without realizing or meaning to. I can testify how hard it is to balance being happy for your friends' blessings, yet hurting because you are in very hard circumstances.
**Don’t expect things from them, just because they come easy to you. As a matter of fact, we shouldn’t do this to anyone. I have been misunderstood because I don't attend a lot of activities outside the home. We must remember that others are in completely different situations than we are, even if we have been in one quite similar. We may have strengths, gifts, abilities, and energy levels that others may not have.
**Don’t make light of or dismiss their feelings and longings for a spouse. Often a single parent longs for a spouse, but are told that a man/woman cannot meet all their needs. (They are told this by married people who have never been in their shoes.) Nobody can meet every need, but everyone craves friendships and most people deeply desire a spouse. We were created to need other human relationships. There is a place in our heart that only a spouse can meet. GOD HIMSELF designed it that way! Please don’t make light of their heart’s cry. It can be the worst anguish of all.
You cannot imagine how much you’ll bless a single mother and her children until you get to Heaven! Believe me, God will richly multiply your blessings. Matthew 25:40 says "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." This is Kingdom work that will last for eternity, and that will bless generations to come-- simply by insuring that a godly mother stays in her home when the odds are against her. If you doubt the value of a godly mother, remember Susanna Wesley. Without her, we would not have had two of the greatest Christian leaders of all time-- John and Charles Wesley.
To those dear ones who have shown my family God’s love over these years, I humbly and deeply thank you. God will multiply your gifts many times over.
(The above article was originally published in The Women of Simplicity Companion Magazine. It is being updated occasionally as needed.)
Note from Mrs. B--I obtained permission from Janet to post her article. Please do the same before posting it on your own blog. (o:
Blessings,
~Mrs. B
ps.- Janet designs websights so if you have that type of need, contact her. I'm sure she'd appreciate the business! (o:
The Single Keeper at Home and How You Can Helpby Janet W.
I am a keeper at home; however, I am a single woman. I want to give some perspective and hope to single women whose hearts’ desire is to be at home with their children. I believe it is a command for women to be keepers at home, regardless of their circumstances. Titus 2:3-5 reads "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." (emphasis mine) Did you see that? For a mother not to be a keeper at home is blaspheming the Word of God! The Bible doesn’t say that becoming single changes that. Some may say that these verses apply only to that day and time in which this was written. I don’t think we can pick and choose what verses we obey or when we obey His Word. His Word is Truth and never changes. God meant what He said and said what He meant. He created the family and knows what is best! We can trust Him for that!
I have been single for over 5 years now because of an unwanted divorce. I have three beautiful daughters, who I’ve always homeschooled. They are 13, 10 and 8. I never dreamed I could remain at home with my girls and keep homeschooling them. God has been so good to honor the desires of my heart, and my desire to do things HIS way!
When I first became single again, I panicked, did what I was told from church-members, and took a part-time job at a grocery store. After all, all single women have to go to work, right? The hours were in the evenings so that I could homeschool in the mornings. Every week, I worked three straight days, from 2PM until midnight. It was hard, fast-paced work. After a while, my family was falling apart. The devil was working, and I began to see very quickly that I had no business being out of my home! My mother kept my girls, and she did the best she could, but she was not training them at all (It was not her job, was it?!); they were only being watched and fed. The girls were getting out of control, and I was too exhausted to homeschool properly. It took me days to recuperate from those three working days, and then it was time to go back to work. After working for five months, I started begging God to send me work to do from home. Within one week, I had four children, besides my own, to care for daily!
Some may think that having seven kids to care for every day would be daunting, but I was so thrilled to have them! God had answered my prayers, and I could be there for my daughters again! God helped me schedule all the children and things went very well. This was a summer job though, and all but one child returned to school in the fall. That was ok, because the Lord had allowed my website designing business to start making a little money here and there. I also received some child support, but not a lot.
Eventually, for various reasons, I quit keeping children in my home, and was able to be with my girls exclusively. God sent me customers that needed website work done every now and then. In time, child support increased even more, but still things were very tight. More than anything though, God cared for us through His people. We had no car for a year, but we prayed and waited patiently and confidently. I was not going to disobey God and leave my home to go to work just to buy a vehicle. My girls deserved my best, which was my time, not possessions!
One day, a wonderful lady from our church called to see if I wanted their used minivan. I told her I could not afford it. She said "No, we want to give it to you." That was God!! My daughters and I just cried. My girls saw God their Father taking care of us. When I prayed, I honestly expected a beat-up old car, for which I would have been extremely grateful. But God exceeded it with a nice minivan, of all things, that ran perfectly! I never ever thought I’d have a minivan. Another family gave us a perfectly good piano! Another prayer answered! Last year, we were given a good used washer and dryer set, after we’d done without a dryer for some time. Many of God’s children have sent love gifts of money, many just in time. One friend took care of bills when my house was about to be repossessed for past due taxes. This friend also takes care of the girls’ school books and other school expenses whenever the need arises. God’s hands are truly the hands of His people!
I want to make it clear that we in no way sit back and expect folks to help us. But it is how God works to meet needs in our situation and others. Money will not fall from the sky, although it could, if God so chose. God lays things on the hearts of others, and they reach out to help. I will not refuse blessings and answers to prayers that God sends! When you refuse help, you are robbing that person of a blessing. You also are refusing God’s answer to prayer! How can we refuse God’s provisions?? How prideful that is!
I know that I’m very blessed to have child support. Some women may not have this. Whether you do or not, but still need additional income, I urge you to seek to find some sort of "cottage business" like the Proverbs 31 woman had. She found something she could do at home to make money for her family. I believe with all my heart that God will answer your prayer and abundantly bless you! God longs to see women being joyful keepers at home! I know of one single, homeschooling mother who, along with her five daughters, cleans houses and businesses. I know other single mothers who run home daycares, write articles, make beautiful handmade items to sell, etc. There are so many possibilities! Ask God, in faith, what to do, KNOWING that He WILL show you! It may take some time for you to be at home full-time, but God will do some "great and mighty things, which thou knowest not!" (Jeremiah 33:3) I never, ever thought that I would really make it as a website designer, but oh, how God loves to prove us wrong and surprise us, even with our doubting, worrying hearts!
I further urge you single sisters, and even married sisters in dire straights, to accept help from different sources. It should come from the church first, but could also come from charity organizations or the government. I know many Christians feel one should not accept charity, but God has made it available to us, and it would be wise, for our children’s sakes, to take it, be thankful, and use these resources to continue rearing our children for the Lord. Many feel that "if you don’t work, neither shall ye eat." Well, I work VERY hard at home-- obeying God. The work God gave me to do is to be a keeper at home. This is a full-time Christian ministry! I take care of my children, I homeschool them, I keep my home, I am available to others, and work in my cottage business. Even with severely cut living expenses, sometimes there is just not enough money, and if you can get some help-- that will further enable you to do God’s will-- then please do so. Don’t let pride keep you from accepting help and, therefore, not obeying God by keeping your home. Many Christians will accept government checks for foster children and/or adoptive children, but condemn other forms of assistance. There really is no difference. In light of the fact that many churches and families no longer support the widows or help the poor as they should, it is a necessary evil. I’m just so thankful for any and all help that I receive. I don’t become wound up in my pride; my focus is my CHILDREN’S needs, and being at home with them. I cannot adequately express how important and vital it is to the welfare of the Christian family.
I want to give ideas to those who want to know how to help single mothers who are striving to raise their children for the Lord. (This would probably also be a blessing to single fathers, mothers with husbands in the military, or to two-parent families who are in dire straits.)
**Pray for them. Pray for their strength-- spiritual, physical and emotional. One of the biggest problems I have is being exhausted in all ways because I do it all alone-- all the time.
**Encourage them often. Tell them they are doing a good job. There is no one at home to tell them, and often they doubt they are doing any good at all. It is tough to keep going down such a long, hard road alone.
**Ask them about their lives. I have found that many people will not ask me about my life, other than a quick "How are you?", probably because they are afraid of pouring salt in my wound, or they just don't know how to relate to me. I have been in many situations where the ladies would go on and on about their lives, but never wanted to really know what was going on in mine. (And yes, I spent quite a lot of time showing interest in them first.) Single mothers would like to be included in conversations also.
**Offer to take their children to appointments, lessons, or other activities. One parent cannot do it all, and ofttimes, for the mental well-being of the single parent, activities are severely limited; OR the mother is run so ragged that she loses her physical, mental, and emotional health. Imagine what it is like to have NO ONE to go pick up a gallon of milk for you, or to run by the pharmacy for medicine for a sick child (or a sick mama!). Those small errands add up and exhaust a single mother. Imagine what it is like not to have someone come home to you at the end of the day, to relieve you of the children for just a little while, for someone to field a multitude of childish questions, for someone to be your cheerleader, or for someone simply to give you a much-needed hug and to take care of you. No, there is no one. A single mother has to handle the children, and all of life’s problems and situations alone all the time. One of the things I want to hear so often is "You heard your mother. Now go and do what she said."
**Offer to help them financially in some way. This could be paying for music or other lessons that are just impossible for the single mother to afford. This could be something small as paying for a magazine subscription for the children or for the mother. These things are luxuries. It could be buying a pair of shoes for a fast-growing child. It could be by funding homeschool books for a homeschooling family. It could be to pay one bill for them at one time, or committing to continually pay a certain bill until things are a lot better for them.
If every local church member would give even $5 a week or month, what a difference it would make in the life of a single mother! It is a terrible shame for a mother to have to return to work after becoming single again, no matter the reason why. The children have already suffered the loss of their father, sometimes their home, and often a depletion of finances. They should not have to lose their mother also! How much more they need their mother in the home full-time to give them stability and love!
Folks, we must realize how necessary it is for a mother to be at home with her children, no matter what the age of the children (teenagers need just as much or more supervision than toddlers do) or the circumstances! We must get back to Bible living!
It is also a terrible shame for fellow Christians to "live on flowery beds of ease", while some do without the necessities of life. Did Jesus live like this? Jesus had no place to lay His head, but I’m seeing people that hoard their possessions, accumulating more and more, forgetting that we are just passing through, and that we are here to glorify God and minister to others. I am so appalled by the lack of compassion that I’m seeing by "Christians". Acts 4:34-35 shares how the early church treated each other: "Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need." (emphasis mine) Where is the compassion for others, especially "those of the household of faith"? (Galatians 6:10)
It’s not wrong for families to have possessions-- things that they have worked so hard for. But where is the concern for the souls of little children who need their mothers? Are not mothers the best teachers for these little children of God? If many would help just a little, what great things could be accomplished! Will you be like the Good Samaritan and help, binding their wounds and giving them care and shelter, or are you going to be like the other "religious" folks, looking the other way and passing on? (Luke 10:25-37) Jesus said to and "Go, and do thou likewise" just as the Good Samaritan did.
**Call a single mother sometime and ask if they have a specific need that you can meet. It’s so hard to ask for help, and they really ought not to have to ask often. Call and see if they need some repair work done to their house or vehicle. If the mother has no health insurance, help her get to the doctor when needed. In doing some of these things, you can relieve so much stress from a single mother’s mind so that she can concentrate on her noble and heavenly task of fitting little ones for Heaven. It is VERY difficult to do any good at all when you live with constant worry and stress. Even small things people normally take for granted every day can become enormous problems for a single mother-- like a child needing new shoes or having enough gas in the vehicle.
**Do not brag on your good fortunes. Just as we would not go on and on over a new baby in the presence of someone who can not conceive or who had recently lost a child, it is thoughtless to share all about your fortunes and luxuries that a single person cannot possibly even dream of, who is terrified deep in her heart of what tomorrow will bring for her financially, who struggles with the basic needs of life. You have no idea who may be about to lose her home or have her electricity turned off. Please also be careful about mentioning romantic gestures that you have received from your husband, when a single mother has no husband to love her. It is not that you have to be on eggshells around them; it is just that you can cause pain without realizing or meaning to. I can testify how hard it is to balance being happy for your friends' blessings, yet hurting because you are in very hard circumstances.
**Don’t expect things from them, just because they come easy to you. As a matter of fact, we shouldn’t do this to anyone. I have been misunderstood because I don't attend a lot of activities outside the home. We must remember that others are in completely different situations than we are, even if we have been in one quite similar. We may have strengths, gifts, abilities, and energy levels that others may not have.
**Don’t make light of or dismiss their feelings and longings for a spouse. Often a single parent longs for a spouse, but are told that a man/woman cannot meet all their needs. (They are told this by married people who have never been in their shoes.) Nobody can meet every need, but everyone craves friendships and most people deeply desire a spouse. We were created to need other human relationships. There is a place in our heart that only a spouse can meet. GOD HIMSELF designed it that way! Please don’t make light of their heart’s cry. It can be the worst anguish of all.
You cannot imagine how much you’ll bless a single mother and her children until you get to Heaven! Believe me, God will richly multiply your blessings. Matthew 25:40 says "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." This is Kingdom work that will last for eternity, and that will bless generations to come-- simply by insuring that a godly mother stays in her home when the odds are against her. If you doubt the value of a godly mother, remember Susanna Wesley. Without her, we would not have had two of the greatest Christian leaders of all time-- John and Charles Wesley.
To those dear ones who have shown my family God’s love over these years, I humbly and deeply thank you. God will multiply your gifts many times over.
(The above article was originally published in The Women of Simplicity Companion Magazine. It is being updated occasionally as needed.)
Note from Mrs. B--I obtained permission from Janet to post her article. Please do the same before posting it on your own blog. (o:
"The Day God Spilled The Paint"
Someone e-mailed this picture to me and I just had to share it.....it's just so amazing! Click on the picture to enlarge and it'll be even more breath-taking.
The east side of the Carrizo plain, in the Temblor Range, about 50 miles due west of Bakersfield , California .
The Day GOD SPILLED THE PAINT!
The east side of the Carrizo plain, in the Temblor Range, about 50 miles due west of Bakersfield , California .
The Day GOD SPILLED THE PAINT!
When Queens Ride By
"John and Jennie Mangrave had eager plans when they married and took over the old farm. But their great faith dwindled as the first years passed. John worked later and later in the evenings. Jennie took more and more of the heavy tasks upon her own shoulders and had no time for the home and children. They were no further on, and life had degenerated into a straining, hopeless struggle."
The first time I read this it made a big impact on me....and every time I reread it I glean something else.
To read the rest of the story, go here.
The first time I read this it made a big impact on me....and every time I reread it I glean something else.
To read the rest of the story, go here.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
ICK!!!!
Here is another reason to either homeschool or have your kids in Christian school.
"Even so, come, Lord Jesus." ~Revelation 22:20b
"Even so, come, Lord Jesus." ~Revelation 22:20b
Murphy's Oil Soap
O.K........I'm in LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, with Murphy's Oil Soap!!
How come I had to wait until I was 37 years old to know about this wonderful product?! Mrs. Wilt asked on this post about cleaning hardwood floors and one of her commenters talked about Murphy's Oil Soap so I bought some. My kitchen cabinets look GREAT!! And so do my baseboards, walls, and painted furniture. And the smell.........oh my.....if they bottled it as perfume, I'd wear it!! (o;
So I just wanted to let you know in case, like me, you weren't aware of this wonderful elixir.....after you're done cleaning, your house (and hands) have the most lovely, clean smell.
How come I had to wait until I was 37 years old to know about this wonderful product?! Mrs. Wilt asked on this post about cleaning hardwood floors and one of her commenters talked about Murphy's Oil Soap so I bought some. My kitchen cabinets look GREAT!! And so do my baseboards, walls, and painted furniture. And the smell.........oh my.....if they bottled it as perfume, I'd wear it!! (o;
So I just wanted to let you know in case, like me, you weren't aware of this wonderful elixir.....after you're done cleaning, your house (and hands) have the most lovely, clean smell.
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